Many of those involved in family disputes acknowledge the need for situations to be handled differently. This often requires those involved to act or react differently. Interventions to assist with such change, benefit from current knowledge acquired from neuroscience regarding the workings of the brain. This promotes an understanding of the impact of what is being proposed, why it is effective, and how to do it better.
How neuroscience can help
It seems obvious that the choices we make change the functioning of our brain, which then impacts on the way we see the world, and how we function within it. Neuroscientific findings explain many things, including why an individual needs to come to their own answers, and why a solutions-focus is more powerful than dwelling on problems. It helps us to understand why learning new skills takes time, how positive feedback affects the brain, aspects of how we make decisions, and what happens when we set goals.
What is required
In the context of family relationships, practitioners can readily identify patterns of interaction, particularly around separation, that produce conflict and negative consequences, and result in the need for change.positive. However after many years of entrenched patterns of dealing with each other, moving away from these automatic responses for parents requires ongoing attention, significant effort, and in many cases additional resources.
How does this work
Deviating from a routine behaviour sends out strong messages in our brain that something is not quite right. These messages are designed to distract our attention and can readily overpower rational thought. It takes a strong will to push past such mental activity. [i]
With habitual routine activity, the basal ganglia, located near the brain’s core, operates like the brain’s automatic transmission, functioning well without conscious thought.[ii]
The working memory is located in the pre-frontal cortex and manages the acquisition of new activities. This area has limited resources and fatigues more easily. It can only hold a limited number of ideas at the one time, and can get easily overwhelmed. Forging new circuits requires going much more slowly, and putting in a lot more effort and attention. Any activity we do repeatedly so that it becomes a habit, is pushed down to the basal ganglia to free up cognitive resources.[iii]
A good example is learning to drive a car. To begin with every separate step has to be thought about and put together in the right order and sequence, in the pre-frontal cortex. This requires great effort and concentration. The greater the practice the quicker the sequence becomes more routine, requiring less effort, until the basal ganglia takes over and it is relatively effortless and unconscious. Going to another country and driving on the other side of the road, takes the processes back to the pre-frontal cortex, requiring greater effort and concentration.
Neuroplasiticity
Changes in an environment cause systematic structural and functional changes in the brain. More stimulating environments, especially when coupled with structured activity, lead to more nervous system connections being formed and generally higher levels of function. The ability of our clients to alter their brain activity through the active practice of focusing attention in constructive ways is “self-directed neuroplasticity” and the key to this is systematic training in a self-observational skill of mindful awareness. This empowers people to respond rationally to emotionally stressful stimuli.[iv]
The questions we put to our clients significantly affect the quality of the connections made in their brains, and profoundly alter the patterns and timings of the connections generated by the brain in each fraction of a second. By focusing their attention, they make connections. By focusing their attention on something new, they make new connections. The mental act of focusing attention holds in place brain circuits associated with what is being focused on. If you pay enough attention to a certain set of brain connections, it keeps this relevant circuitry stable, open and dynamically alive, enabling it to eventually becoming a part of the brain’s hard wiring.[v]
The connections we have, our own mental maps, can strongly influence the reality we see, often more than the inputs themselves.[vi]
Attention Density
The rate of change is based on how much attention we pay, or the number of observations we make, over a period of time. The more focused we are, the closer we look, the greater the Attention Density or our mental focus and concentration. Attention Density causes the proper brain circuitry to be held in place in a stable and dynamic way. With enough of this, individual thoughts and acts of mind can become a part of who we are, a part of how our brain works, and so play a role in how we perceive the world.[vii]
By effective and regular follow up we can give this insight more attention, and increase the chances of making a long term difference to our clients. By leaving the problem where it was and focusing on creating new connections, we can assist in the creation of new circuitry to replace the old. Focusing on the solutions actually creates solutions, while focusing on the problems can deepen those problems in our thinking.[viii]
Solution Focus
Changing behaviour requires deepening ability to choose what to focus on among the many ideas popping into our consciousness. The source of our thoughts should be left alone, in favour of focus on building awareness of choice. Support for the focus of attention on the right activities is crucial for effective behavioural change. This can include: advice as to the best choice, support for options rather than dictates, allowing the focus to remain on solutions; facilitating insight as to the identification of the kind of problem to be solved; reflecting on the competing values or demand for resources, and the need to reconcile these competing needs; assisting in the development of insights , through paying attention to solutions; and providing follow up and practice that increase the attention density on any new insight.[ix]
If you would like to work towards changing your behaviour or facilitating change for someone you are working with, contact Creative Family Law Solutions to discuss this further.
[i] Page 3-4 “A Brain-based Approach to Coaching” International Journal of Coaching in Organisations 2006 4(2) pp 32-43
[ii] ibid page 4
[iii] ibid page 4
[iv] ibid page 6
[v] ibid pages 5 and 6
[vi] ibid page 6
[vii] ibid page 7
[viii] ibid page 7
[ix] ibid pages 10-12